I don’t see the point in celebrating my birthday any more, ever since primary school. It may sound hilarious, but since P2 all the way to P4, I’ve waited each year for my mum to organize that McDonald birthday she promised when i was in P1, after seeing my bro having it in nursery and my sis in K1.
It never happened. I very well remember spending my P2 birthday at a kopitiam eating some shit I don’t remember, and i didn’t enjoy that meal as well because it had garlic in it (I’m fine with grounded/powder garlic, but really, one big glove of garlic is just nauseating).
I also remember in P3, I didn’t had that McDonald birthday neither, instead went to some restaurant to eat. Okay, fine, restaurant’s fine too, but when my parents brought me to Toys R’ Us to buy me a present, my bro and sis complained saying they wanted presents too, and ended up buying far more expensive and bigger ones. I know, kids their age (Bro’s 5, sis’s 8 ) also wanted toys, I understand that now, but for feth sake, I was 9 then, I’m still a kid myself too; It just didn’t feel special buying presents anymore, so I went to one corner of Toy’s and cried a bit. Yeah sure, sounds like I’m exaggerating, but whatever, I don’t care what you think anyway >_>
Oh, and by the time my mum brought it up, I was P6. I’ve already gave up any hopes of that McDonald birthday, and I don’t feel right doing it at my age. Sides, I’m like, 176cm tall then, I don’t want people thinking I’m a secondary school kid having his birthday in McDonald’s.
And every time around this year, I remember these incidents. Those who’ve celebrated my birthday before knows that I don’t look particularly excited about it either. I also feel guilty about letting others celebrate my birthday. It’s like they do it every year, getting my gifts and go out eating with me and shit, but every time their birthday comes around, all I did was wish them a happy birthday. It makes me feel terrible, seriously. Of course, I’ll accept any gifts you want to give me, but I honestly don’t feel right receiving them. It reminds me of all the times I’ve never gotten anyone a present.
I just don’t see the point, nor feel right celebrating it anymore.
(Also, don’t start shit like I’m lucky to be able to choose not to celebrate my birthday and there’re a lot of more unfortunate kids who can’t. I know that point very well, but god fuck you if you try to deny my ranting rights, capiche?)
